Parenting Dilemmas: Supporting and Questioning Children's Choices
Children, they say, are a heritage of God, and they're the joy of every parent. It's always adorable and a delight to have them around, and one of our duties as parents is to provide them with love, support, and guidance, as well as instil morals, beliefs, values, and respect so they can develop in the best way possible. During our course of raising and instilling these values, it's understandable that not all might be perfect or according to the child's taste, and that brings us to the big question of whether we'll welcome the idea of such a child having a different lifestyle that total varies from the ones we raise them. That's somewhat complicated, and today I'll be sharing my perspective on handling this as a parent towards my child.
One thing about us as parents is that we've always envisioned the idea of our children following all our paths and guidance to the end, as we believe it's the best way for them. However, that isn't always the case. As we've seen children who, when grown, chose a different path in different aspects of their lives that differed from what they were taught by their parents, this can be very hard for a parent to take in. But what society expected of us was to accept their stand and support them in their new path, and this leaves me with the question of whether that's even ideal.
Although, understandably, we've all got free will to chase our dreams, career path, religion, culture, gender, and way of life, one thing I've come to realize through the years is that a child will always be a child to his or her parents regardless of how old they grow, and such parents would want to do everything possible to make sure they follow the right path we've placed them in because we felt it's the best for them.
Personally, as a parent, if my child grows up and chooses a different path, depending on what aspects it's, at first I'd be shocked, disappointed, and confused, but when I take a critical look into the aspects such entails, I can agree with their stand and even support them in their new-found way of life. But if it's a path I thoroughly scrutinize and feel it's bad, I'll not accept such from them and would do everything within my power to make them change or disown such a child if they refuse to change.
Now, before you use that statement to judge me as a terrible parent, I'll appreciate you kindly helping me out by reading through my reasons before you cast the stone. So, like I said, I'd agree with their stand in some aspects, and such could be in areas of our culture. Such a child switching to another culture won't be entirely bad for me to take in; if the new culture is also decent and promotes what's morally upright, then I'll joyfully support the child's new-found part.
But in a situation where such changes involve a change of gender, sexual status, such as gay or lesbian, or religion, then I'd go to the end of the earth to make sure they come back to the path I've shown them because I know it's the best way for them, and letting such a child proceed with their opinion is like denting the reputation of my lineage and generations to come.
There's nothing that would make me watch my child turn gay or lesbian, and I'd support such; in my culture, that's wrong; in my religion, it's prohibited, In my country, it's illegal, and to me, it's morally insensible, so seeing a child I tried all I could to raise in the right way delve into such, I won't be happy. Such makes me feel like a failure as a parent, and if my child fails to take heed to my opinion, then I've got no choice but to disown them and have them have nothing to do with my family going forward.
It's my take, and it's how I see life, and while I can be lenient in some aspects and agree with their perspective, the same wouldn't be the case when it comes to gender transition, religion, and sexual preferences that differ from male and female, so that's about it, and I hope my child won't do such as they grow, because though I want to them to have their free will, still there are some aspects, like the ones I listed, that I won't support or give room for them to change if they want to continue to be addressed as a child.
That's about it for today. I hope you enjoyed the read. Have a wonderful day and stay blessed.
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Gender remains a focal discussion topic especially as seen in Africa settings. We should listen and observe what our kids want before giving them out right denial
Well, Inasmuch as I'd listen and let them delve into different things like career, culture and aspects of lives freely, same wouldn't be the case with their decision on change of gender or gay.
If such a child insist, it's not a bid deal but not under my roof or as my child.
That's the African spirit and I concur 100%
It depends on what aspect the chance is, if it's a change for good, I'll gladly approve of it and support you, if possible but something like changing gender, that's a no, no. I'll never let you have peace as a parent until you come out of that madness.
That's just it bro, gladly support you for a good course, but the ones I know isn't good, I won't.
Hello there, Sir Vic. Indeed, children are the heritage of God and the Joy of parents. One of the best and sweetest gifts marriage offers is having kids. It is the duty of parents to guide them through and show them the right way.
You’re right, sir. Most times, parents envision a different life for their kid, unaware of the fact that they might choose a different path. I’m my opinion, parents should guide their children and the same time open arms to their interests.
Thanks for sharing.
Yea we should support them if their choosing path is good and socially acceptable, if not I believe we should talk sense into them in helping them change their decision.
👏 Keep Up the good work on Hive ♦️ 👏
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I enjoyed the reading a lot, especially the part addressing homosexuality and lesbianism, where you indicated how terribly the act is. Reading through article carved out a boundary between spoiling and guiding a children, truth be told excess freedom is a bondage of its own.
We guide our children, friends and family by scrutinizing their decision effectively and not really passing judgement aside the true no's we are aware of, may GOD guide us in this.
Yea that's just it, thanks so much for taking out time to read through, excess freedom is dangerous, although we must still give them so they can have a practice experience of what life really is, but that doesn't stop of from guiding once in awhile when we think they're going astray.
I read your article with great attention and it really is a dilemma. Where I live it is a topic many parents are talking about. It’s food for thought, thank you for that
That's good to know, thanks so much for your feedback.
Parents always want their children to continue living like they used to when they were young and naive, which does not end up like parents want. Parent should have it in their sub concious that grown up children tend to choose thier own path.
If a child chooses any of those bad path you mentioned, honestly, it would be hurtful and almost impossible for a parent to still want such child around them.
That's just it, it's a very difficult thing to take in as a parent, but then on the note that's their changes is still reasonable, then there's no big deal in supporting them.
This is one of the tough situation and tacking this with love and by talking with them is the best solution. Of course parents are happy when the kids are happy.
Absolutely, with love and concern for their wellbeing.